Ask for Help - You'll be amazed at what happensDec 15, 2020
In this holiday season, when we normally love our extra family time, in a year overwhelmingly marked by massive amounts of family togetherness, we have to ask, how does family time play into our health and wellness goals for the new year? Do our families help us live the lives of vibrance and good health that we imagine, or are our families dragging us down, keeping us stuck?
The people we spend our time with are the characters that create our reality, our language, and our thought patterns about food and health, right and wrong, normal and abnormal. The people we spend our time with are the norm setters that create the food culture we live in.
In my practice, I hear so frequently that it is almost humorous, that family members are the cause of my clients not being able to do the things or eat in the healthful ways that they would otherwise like to do.
"My husband would never go for that."
"My teenager needs the potato chips to meet their growing body's needs."
"My friends like to meet up at certain restaurants and I just go with it."
Why do we go along with the tides that others set? Why do we get swept up in a culture of poor quality food and poor health? Is it really worth it to drag through life, with no energy, in pain, inflamed, malnourished, simply to go along to get along?
When someone comes through my door for help, they are at least contemplating a serious commitment to changing some things about their health, which really means changing some things about the culture of food in their homes and social circles.
This takes a level of rebellion, which takes a level of clarity about the path you are forging and the reasons for doing it. Stepping out of our safe, family, regular habits is a big deal. Forging ahead into a culture of health and wellness, of food that heals, of lifestyle changes that serve us rather than deplete us, is working on the frontier of cultural change.
When people seem to cast their reasons for how they eat and live onto their spouse, or children, or friends, it's not so much making excuses or casting blame. It's more like treading water in a cultural sea of illness trying to find shore or a safety buoy. It's really people's way of saying that this is the culture I live in. These are the expectations in my culture. How in the world could I possibly change ALL OF THAT? How do I change people's expectations? How do I change my own expectations when I have no role models in my inner circle? How do I change how I eat and live when everyone around me is doing it a different way? How do I stand up to the ridicule?
Humans need stability and ceremony, and we feel comforted in knowing what to expect in our family, food and community culture. That's totally normal and wonderful.
But our food system is broken and it is harming us. The seeming stability is in fact causing massive instability - in our own health, and in our ecosystems that are so terribly harmed by the current food system norms.
If you are ready for change, ready to cultivate a culture of more health and wellness in your home, in your community circles, and n this planet, you must become a change-maker.
This holiday season, why not ask your family for help in the change you envision, and know you need? Why not ask for the gift of support as you step into the waters of creating a culture of health, wellness, delicious wholesome food, and decadent nourishment?
How would that look in your family? What is it, if you could ask your family for the help you really, deeply need to heal, to feel alive and having fun in a new healthy food culture? What would you ask for?
What if they love you so incredibly much, that they'd be up for it? What if they'd at least agree to try it for a short amount of time? What if they see you struggling and all they need is for you to have an honest conversation with them about how much you think making some changes could help you, and they'd be in, ready to help?
With all the family time we've had this year, we've had to learn to set new boundaries and have new conversations. Why not bring those solemn lessons about family communication, and what it is to live together, into the holidays. In this season of gift giving, why not ask for the gift you really, truly need? The gift of health. The gift of support and love and enthusiasm as you create transformation in your food culture and your health so that you can shine your true light on the world.
Isn't that what the holidays are actually all about: Sharing love and support with our loved ones, cultivating light in times of darkness, helping each other through, and living into, and passing on the cultural norms that serve and support us and generations to come.
I wish you health and love and light and the confidence to take a stand for a nourishing food culture this holiday season.